Sunday, September 22, 2013

Know Thyself... and Then Quit Whining


“Know Thyself” is one of the Delphic Maxims, inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.  Like much of ancient wisdom, the meaning of this admonition is open to interpretation.  According to the Suda, a 10th Century encyclopedia of ancient Greek knowledge, “the proverb is applied to those whose boasts exceed what they are” and  is “a warning to pay no attention to the opinion of the multitude.” I guess that the message is that nobody’s opinion of you is any good, including your own.  So how do you know who you are?  What’s the song say? “I’d like to get to know you… if I could.” Popular music can be cryptic, too.

Nelson Mandela once said that “[o]ur deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  Wonder why you get a little chill as those words sink in?  Because Nelson Mandela is right.  Some people become very uncomfortable around mirrors, you know.  Maybe they don’t really want to know themselves, because if they did they would have to assume responsibility for their thoughts, words and deeds.

These days, people seem to spend most of their time coming up with excuses (or, more euphemistically, “explanations”) as to why their lives are screwed up.  They blame their parents.  They blame the economy.  They blame their luck.  They blame their “addictions.”  Rarely do they blame themselves, because that would inevitably lead to questions like, “Well, if you think you’re on the wrong path, why don’t you simply try a different one?”  In other words, if you’re fat—lose weight.  If you’re poor—figure out a way to earn more money.  If you’re unhappy—find something you like to do, and go do it.  And so on.  For obvious reasons, people for the most part don’t want to go the “get a life” route: taking personal responsibility can be a lot of work.

Kids sometimes sit around the house moaning that “there’s nothing to do.”  If it’s a rainy day, it’s because they can’t go outside.  If it’s a sunny day, it’s because “there’s nobody around.” Adults often spend a lot of time moaning about all of the things that they “have to do,” including go to work every day to support those brats sitting around the house.  Yet when somebody wins the lottery, and with it ostensible freedom from the toiling part of their daily lives, like as not the inevitable “human interest” story about them in the local paper will report that they slogged back to their job as a toll-taker on the expressway the Monday after winning and have no plans in the immediate future to quit. 

People complain that they are “stuck” in jobs they don’t like, find excuses to stay married to people they don’t love, go to hear sermons  they don’t believe, vote for candidates they don’t trust, and watch television programs they acknowledge are “dumb.”  You’ve got to ask why.

Psychologists tell us that everything we do is the product of conscious or unconscious choices.  And there’s a logic behind each choice, too, a logic grounded in fear.  If the range of possible alternative realities seems too unpleasant… or too unknown… people have a tendency to stay put.  Yup.  The old “fight, flight or freeze” again.  So if one is afraid of change, they fight it; afraid of bad consequences that might result from changes in their life, they fly away from them; and if they’re generally unhappy because they’re in a predictable rut, they dig in a little deeper rut and freeze until they’re numb to the pain.

Now, it goes without saying that one can’t adapt to life in a prison cell (or a self-dug rut) and retain even a semblance of sanity if one is going to insist on being hyper-aware of one’s circumstances.  Prisoners daydream and fantasize and zone out a lot to pass the time… except when they’re out in the general population where they might get killed, of course.  Then the Law of the Jungle kicks in again.  Outside prison walls, the rest of us are able to deny reality with fewer restrictions—look at those idiots texting as they hurtle down the freeway.  People spend a lot of their time imagining what it would be like if they were fit, or rich, or educated, or married to someone they actually liked, or divorced from somebody that they actually can’t stand, or living in the country, or traveling around the world.  But very few of them do anything much about it.  And when they do think about their unsatisfactory situations-- usually because they have to, for some reason—they will declare either that they’re “grateful” for all the non-crappy parts of their lives (by implication having concluded that their lives, however crappy, are as good as they can expect them to get) or that there’s “nothing to be done” about the crappiness.  “No Exit,” as Jean-Paul Sartre might say.

Existentialists have one thing going for them.  Their denial is not complete.  They acknowledge the futility and absurdity of their existence.  Heck, they even revel in it.  They have no responsibility for trying to “improve” their situation, because they believe that their situation cannot be improved, and they can churn out volumes of well-supported reasons for this belief.

Another avenue to acceptance of one’s miserable lot is adherence to a religion, Catholicism and its offshoots being the obvious case in point.  During the Middle Ages, the lot of the common individual was pretty shitty, indeed.  People lived in squalor, misery, ignorance and filth.  They were plagued by wars, starvation,  witches and, yes, plague.  To keep them from going ape and threatening the (relatively) better situations enjoyed by the “nobility” of Europe and the clergy, somebody had to come up with a mythology to explain to the peasants why it was worth enduring all the squalor and misery and filth, and the theologians came up with a pretty good story.  “We’re living in squalor and misery and filth,” they said, “because Man sinned against God (by being disobedient and seeking after knowledge) back in the Garden of Eden and so we’ve got to endure this crap until we die… but it’s only temporary, because if we’ve been really good while enduring the squalor and misery and filth, then we’ll go to Heaven and live forever without any squalor or misery or filth.”

That was the “carrot” dangled before the disease-ridden, oppressed and ignorant populace back then, but the Church concluded (rightly enough) that it wouldn’t be sufficient by itself to ensure compliance or complacency.  So they added a “stick”:  “Oh, and by the way, if you’re not good at enduring the squalor and misery and filth, and you don’t ‘render unto Caesar’ and follow the dictates of the Church, our loving God will cast your damned soul for eternity into a lake of burning fire, and you’ll be poked in the ass by devils with pitchforks while you labor in squalor and misery and filth.  Amen.”

They didn’t get 100% compliance, of course, but the one-two combination of  salvation and damnation worked pretty well.  And besides, they needed some non-compliant people to hang and burn at the stake now and then in order to maintain the urgency of the message.

Anyway, the fatalism of the Existentialists and the hope of the Medieval peasantry give you two ways, at least, of rationalizing a miserable existence until you’re dead.  There’s another way,  the concept of Tao, primarily promoted by Eastern religions such as Confucianism and Zen Buddhism, which is, conveniently enough, roughly translated as “The Way.”  I mention this as sort of an afterthought, because it’s not really practical for most Twenty-First Century Americans.  The object is to harmonize one’s will with Nature in order to achieve what has been termed “effortless action”.  It requires meditation and moral practices that aren’t really in sync with our smartphone-driven, Nature-bending, “busy” lives here in the good ol’ USA.  So unless you’re now living on one of the four or five Colorado mountaintops that isn’t adjacent to a subdivision, or on a private island, or something like that, the Tao is going to be a tough path for you to conceptualize, much less follow.  More power to you if you decide to make the attempt, but I’m going to have to turn my attention now  back to the mass of un-Enlightened readers.

Here is the step-by-step, color-by-numbers, Rachael Ray quick, easy way to gain mastery over your life:

1.      Acknowledge that  your life is less than perfect, and that whatever combination of bad circumstances and bad people brought you to whatever pit you’re residing in presently, it’s your fault if you stay there.

2.      Acknowledge that you are not as good as you could be, and that there are any number of things you could do to try to improve yourself.

3.      Acknowledge that other people, whatever their circumstances, are plagued with the same doubts, fears and inadequacies that you are.

4.      Work at improving yourself.

5.      Work at improving  your life.

6.      Stop worrying about why you’re here.  Go about the above-listed activities serene in the knowledge that, although you will never achieve perfection, eventually it will all stop… or change…or something… when you die.  And there you have it, How to Live Your Life.

 

 

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